Dear Callen,
Friday was “program day” at your school, which is where you and all the kindergarteners get to sing songs for the parents. They also have lunch so you can learn how the cafeteria works going into 1st grade. They combined the AM and PM classes so there were at least 90-100 kids in the program. And yet somehow you almost ruined it for everyone.
On Thursday night I got an email from your teacher, it was weird but not unheard of. She was concerned with how you would you behave during the program when you didn’t have special attention and asked if I could sit in the front row to keep an eye on you. I got a special reserved seat in the front row, which was super awkward when the other parents thought it was reserved for the teachers. Your teacher, while we’ve had our disagreements this year, was spot on with this one.
As soon as the kids entered the gymnasium you started to act up. While everyone else sat in their chairs or on the risers you complained that the seat was uncomfortable. When the program started you complained that it was too loud and sprawled on the ground in a little temper tantrum. I immediately pulled you out of the room and we watched from the hallway. I was hurt and disappointed by your behavior. There were 100 kids in the room and only you couldn’t behave yourself.
Its been a tough school year over and transition to kindergarten. Your constantly hitting kids, running out of the classroom, and not listening to your teacher. This has lead to a number of conflicts between myself and the school. Your teacher, though she has the best intentions and have tried her best, hasn’t been a great match for you. To say you are a handful for her is an understatement.
In the beginning, I was very compassionate for the school and staff knowing you are not easy to deal with. But there was a point I could no longer stand by. There was an incident where you had a temper tantrum and made a mess of the classroom, and the teacher tried to prevent your nanny from taking you home until you both cleaned up the mess. You became very upset and ran out of the school, and could have been injured.
To say I lost my shit with the principle would be an understatement. I was very clear that they violated state law for students in special education. They wanted to move you to the diagnostic school, reserved for children with severe mental and physical handicaps. I pushed back extremely hard on this, as I feel once that happens you will never get off that track. Eventually, they agreed to give you an aid and keep you in the classroom. When they tested you, you scored off the charts in intelligence but failed in emotional and social skills. This is consistent with your previous testing, so I wasn’t surprised. You just need to catch up in a few areas. You are an incredibly bright child that all the potential in the world.
I don’t know what’s going to happen next year. I know at this point you aren’t capable of doing full day 1st grade, especially without an aid. And I don’t know if I can fight that battle again next year, but I will sure try. Maybe we repeat kindergarten, maybe we move to 1st grade, or maybe we need to move into the diagnostic program. All I know is whatever the answer, I will make sure the decision is what is best for you long term and that you have all the support you need.
Love,
Daddy
I am reading your stories to your son and I am amazed. Today, many mothers lost that value of love for the child and you as dad are doing great. I believe God put you through this because He knows how good you are and that no one else could care for Callen as much as you do. Don’t ever be embarrassed if your boy acts awkward at times. Remember, we live in broken society. All bad became good and all good became bad. Sadly the worse acts are done by adults and not kids. Wish you a lifetime of happiness with your boy, it’s challenging but you can do it ?? All the best always.