September 5, 2016
Dear Callen,
Today is Labor Day, but we didn’t do anything special. We hung around the house, went for a walk, and played outside. It was a typical day for us. Once you went to bed I had to do something important. Your uncle, who loves you unconditionally, needed my help. His oldest son, your cousin, is in a similar situation you were two years ago. His mother has a substance abuse issue. His situation is different than yours. [Cousin] is eleven and his split his time between his mother and father since they separated when he was young. He has a close but inappropriate relationship with his mother. She depends on him instead of the inverse. Luckily you were too young to have that bond. It hurts to see him go through this. When he was your age he and your uncle use to live with Grammy, and so did I. Every night before bed he use to come to the top of the stairs (I slept in the basement) and insist only I could put him into his bed. He’s a young man now, but I’ll never forget those days. He’s a good kid with amazing potential. It breaks my heart to see what his mother has put him through.
Your uncle is a great man. He had [cousin] when we were young and had dedicated his life to his well being. When your mother left it was him who I looked to him for strength. If he could raise a son alone why couldn’t I? It is only through his generosity, but mainly your aunt’s, that we keep going. They volunteered to take you on two days a week while I was at work, even though you can be a jerk to their youngest child. What I paid them is laughable, but they have never wavered. I often want you to be like me, but what I really want is for you to be like your uncle. He’s much less temperamental than I am. He’s also a few inches taller and few pounds lighter, but don’t forget he was backwards in the womb kicking me in face. So if I kick him in the face randomly it’s ok. He also has terrible taste in sports teams. And I have more education (but more student loans). Maybe you could be the best of both of us.
[Counsin] loves you, and I know how much you love him. I would ask you to take it easy on him but you’re three. Instead I want to reiterate something, something that I will always press on you: drugs are bad. They hurt the people you love. Even if you make it through the other side there may be no repairing the relationships you ruined. Maybe you won’t be like me, your uncle, or your cousin, but please don’t be like your mother. You have so much to offer this world, don’t throw it away.
Love,
Daddy